And Sabotage I Did !

My defense had been up ,
My attack had been game ,
But all were left biting the dust in vain ,
When I decided to play the self sabotage game .

I took pleasure in my pain ,
I enjoyed as I got maimed ,
I got high ; on my own misery ,
Even as everything I did left me jittery .

My soul cried for help ,
My heart gave a yelp ,
Even as my emotions ran me over ,
My mind got high thinking as if it were in a bower .

Just like coke or meth , weed or L.S.D ,
The highs that i achieved began to ebb ,
It was the time to inflict further misery , 
So that i could get high even as i bled .