Do you know ?

You have a look at me

And give out roars of laughter as if without a fee ,

I were a comedian doing a stand up act .

But do you even know them , the facts ?

That have brought me to this sorry state ,

That have made me curse my fate .

You exchange looks when you glimpse my contorted face ,

Which to you seems to be so out of place.

But do you even know of all the storms ?

That rage in the space above my face in so many forms

That make every fiber of being cry out in pain

Even though it my be in vain .

You joke about me behind my back.

About my lifelessness , about all the energy which I seem to lack ,

Even in the first hour of morn .

But do you even know that the whole of my previous night I had spend torn ?

Between conflicting thoughts of whether or not

To end it all

To take that one last fall ?

But why will you care ?

As long as you fare well ,

You will not change ,

Your ways so strange .

You will have fun at my expense

Even as I jump over paradise's fence .