Tick Tock Rumblings

Tick - tock, tick - tock;

Goes my dear dusty clock .

Its hands move steady ,

Even as I become heady

For the drops down my throat I pour

And i begin to envisage the closing of the door .

My head begins to rumble
There are so many thoughts I fumble .

Why is death feared so much ?

Is it so bad, so gruesome, is it such ?

Why is it they fear its touch ?

Can it worse than being caught in the clutch

Of the demon that resides inside you ?

Which grace with its ill presence only  a few .

Is its pain worse than that of a  heartbreak ?

That can cause you to unmake.

It makes you view the world with tinted glasses .

And you lost your faith in the masses .

So what is it about death that people fear so much  ?

Why is their a fuss as such ?

Isn't death a mere retreat ,

Where after the long walk of life you can rest your feet ?

And at last receive,
That much needed reprieve .

Tick - tock , tick - tock ;

Goes my dear dusty clock .

Its hands move steady ,

Even as I become heady

For the drops of repieve down my throat continue to go ,

And then with a thud closes the door .

Spreading The Cheer :)

Ok , first of all I'd like to mention that it feels strange ,
something almost akin to learning a new skill as I pick up my pen
to write . It has been 10 days since I have been home and nothing
of note has happened . If I had a diary whose pages I was used to
filling then I can assure you that the entry for the last 10 days
would have all been the same and said ,"I lived my day . No
more."

When I think of it in a leisurely manner I realize that it is
strange , that even though I lived my day and no more for these
past 10 days still ; at the end of each and every day there wasq
a sense of fulfilment that overcame me , of a kind which I hadn't
really experienced in a while . Maybe this is what the season of
joy is meant to do to you . So even as I sit here on this
christmas eve writing this I feel happiness and a feeling of
contentmenrt spread through me , through my entire being and no
it is not because I have won an unexpected lottery(though I can't
argue that it wouldn't be nice if I did :) , or have gotten
unexpectd fame , or made inexplicable gain . It is just this
wonderful festival that is doing that is bringing all of these
good feelings to my heart . 

I am no christian , in fact I have no faith in the concept of God
or his kingdom of the High skies still I believe that it doesn't
hurt to spread a little cheer around. Does it ? So use this day
to spread cheer and happiness around you , amongst those less
fortunate , having not so considerate people as you all to look
after them . Wish you all a Merry Christmas . :)

The walk down the road

This is the story of a walk down a road which I took a few days back .

Keep out the wind

Shut the blinds ,
Before in comes the bad wind ,
With a voice that bemoans
Of all the bad omens
That are to come .
It hums :
Of all the evil
That the devil
On me has let loose .
And while He will snooze
The work will be done .
For all the hope will by then be gone ,
Warding off all the evil on my own ,
My heart will have turned to stone .
The loneliness will have me changed ,
Will have me deranged .
Will have me transformed ,
To a form so cold .
That it will make everyone wonder
If my body does hold
A single drop of warm blood .
That so easily does seem to flood
The insides of everyone else .

So shut the blinds ,
Before in comes the bad wind
To make me lose the inner peace
That comes to me in such tiny pieces .

He who doles it all

No matter how I look at it ,
I feel I am doomed
To never have my wishes fulfilled .
I wish my life shrouded in gloom could end in a boom ,
But how could that happen .
For that'll mean the fulfilment
Of a wish of mine .
Which is unacceptable to Him .
He who on strange whims ,
Keeps on hurting me ,
Keeps on doling out hardships to me .
As if they were the alms ,
And I were a beggar begging for them for free .

I scream , I screech , I shout .
I writhe in agony as my pain make me feel its clout ,
Never you doubt ,
That in my life can't creep in happiness .
For He who doles it all is a creep ,
And He takes pleasure in making me weep .
My hardships can never be over ,
For He likes to see me cower .
I beg Him to show a little mercy ,
To be a bit slower .
In doling out to me all the pain and misery
Which adds to my drudgery .

But to no avail ,
To al my wails he turns a deaf ear .
For He likes to see the pain through me sear .
He continues to burn me ,
The insides of my mind he continues to churn .
I am breaking into pieces ,
When I finally fall apart ,
Some stranger reading this come and pick up my parts ..

Fire puts out fire

Have you ever noticed how one fire puts out another , eating into the very core of its existence ; it forces the other fire out of existence , cutting off its connection from its source of sustenance . Well so is pain , one pain will always drive the other one out of your consciousness . So what will happen if to drive away one pain from your mind you indulge in another and get caught up in the vicious chain . How do you put an end to that chain?

It comes pouring out

Tear out my heart from my bosom
Like you tear away from a plant a bud about to blossom
Make me bleed ,
Tears of deprieve
For baby that is what you want to do
Oh that is what you want to do


You want to hurt me and go
All the memories that we never hadtogether you want to throw
Like a croaking crow
Away you want to shoo me


Yes, I know you don't care
O my lady fair
When you'll leave my life will becomes bare
And like a land barren it will lie here


You don't give a damn
O ma'am
For you think it is a sham
The look of pain that is floating on my face


You drive me to the edge
So why not come and drive me over
Why let me suffer
Why let me cowwer


I know it is my fate so bleak
That I had to drink from your love's creek
So know push me into that creek
So that soon I turn into a corpse that reeks

I should have tried to hold everything back
But how could I for I had to get my heart hacked
So as I finally lie under my resting spot
It all comes pouring out .

Whisper

Whisper in my ears o Death
The lullaby that will put me to sleep
Why do you walk with stealth
When you are the one who''l help me to take that leap
Who'll take me away from all this darkness
From all this madness
That has been tying me down like a straitjacket
The pain comes to me in packets
each new one bigger than the one before
That washed up to my consciouness' shore


Whisper in my ears o Death
The lullaby that wil put me to sleep
Won't you help me get rid of my breath
For each one of it is accompanied by a tear that I weep
For the mistakes that I made
That are forcing me to bade goodbye
To everything that once was dear to me

whisper in my ears o Death
The lullaby that will put me to sleep
A deadly blow to me He has already dealt
Let that cut though deep
While the pain of it all you numb
I no longer want to live tbhis life as a stump
And watch as once again someone draws you away .
So let me die my way .
Let me die my way .

Let My Soul Flow

And this is the first song that I ever wrote .Will someday put music to it .
Rip out the strings of my heart
Help me to tear myself apart
Baby you can do that
We know you can do that
Because you are just like that


You will ike to watch me go down in flames
But all of it on me you'l blame
You feel that I'm lame
To love you so much
For you are such .
Yes you are such

I would have gone with you til the end of horizon
But I am afraid you'll love to more to pour in me poison
To get rid of my burden .
You are so certain
Of my futility
As a used up utility
You wil toss me away
Out of your way
You will kick me
But baby you'll love it
We know you''l love it



Baby help me get rid of my soul
For you have made too big a hole
In my heart
That is lyning on it hinges ready to blow apart
That I can never fill it
No, I ca never fill it
Let my spirit flow out through it
Let the wind blow out with it .



Drive through my heart a stake
That is all it'l take
To free me and you
To let me bask in the glory of red hue
You already gave me the pleasure
Of losing what I treasure
Baby you can do it again
We know you can do it again
You can make my heart get rid of al its pain
Just tear down my sinews
Then maybe I'll start anew
Or maybe in a ghastly form be lost
Never to be found again
With the pain ripping through my soul
I Wil drown in my heart hole .

The bubble pops

Like a bubble that dies with a pop .
So in you die the last vestiges of hope .
It never serves you well to dream ,
Of the realms that weren't meant to be yours,
Of a life that you'll never get to live .
Believe me when I say this , do believe .

As the helplessness washes over you
And with numbed out eyes you gaze at that sky with blue hue .
Your insides feel as if they have been beaten black and blue ,
Bearing all what fate at you threw .
What fate doled out to you to stuff in your stash,
Was fit only to be thrown in trash .

You can go on a spade,
And a goodbye to everyone you can bade.
For the path your life would had long before been laid.
Before your birth your death certificate had been made .
Let that path lead you to the cliff ,
And then you can go down in a whiff .