He who doles it all

No matter how I look at it ,
I feel I am doomed
To never have my wishes fulfilled .
I wish my life shrouded in gloom could end in a boom ,
But how could that happen .
For that'll mean the fulfilment
Of a wish of mine .
Which is unacceptable to Him .
He who on strange whims ,
Keeps on hurting me ,
Keeps on doling out hardships to me .
As if they were the alms ,
And I were a beggar begging for them for free .

I scream , I screech , I shout .
I writhe in agony as my pain make me feel its clout ,
Never you doubt ,
That in my life can't creep in happiness .
For He who doles it all is a creep ,
And He takes pleasure in making me weep .
My hardships can never be over ,
For He likes to see me cower .
I beg Him to show a little mercy ,
To be a bit slower .
In doling out to me all the pain and misery
Which adds to my drudgery .

But to no avail ,
To al my wails he turns a deaf ear .
For He likes to see the pain through me sear .
He continues to burn me ,
The insides of my mind he continues to churn .
I am breaking into pieces ,
When I finally fall apart ,
Some stranger reading this come and pick up my parts ..